Bitch of the Week: Spice Girls

Does anyone remember them looking this frightening?

Life was so much simpler back in the 90s. In those days, your biggest identity crisis could be solved by simply asking yourself which Spice Girl were you most like. There was one for everyone: Ginger, the fiery leader; Posh, the stuck-up diva; Scary, the loud and eccentric wild child; Sporty, the tomboy' and Baby, the innocent youngster. No matter which one you were, you were certainly ready to spice up your life. And now they're here to spice up Bitch of the Week!

The Spice Girls are probably best known for their song "Wannabe": "Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want," "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends," etc. Don't even pretend like you don't know the words. (I'll excuse you if you don't remember the rap.) But they have so many classics that could really score your entire life. "Say You'll Be There", "2 Become 1", "Mama", "Spice Up Your Life", "Stop", and "Viva Forever" are just a few. Play any one of these songs and nostalgia and hijinks are sure to ensue.

If you weren't a fan of the Spice Girls, you were basically fucked, because these bitches were everywhere. They had best-selling albums, hit singles, video games, dolls, films, candy, and countless sponsorships with every company from Pepsi to Polaroid. The girls became British icons, both as individuals and as a group, and led to a surge of cultural girl power and a second British Wave in America, reaching an oversees population not seen from a UK band since the Beatles.

Putting aside their talent and public image, let's get to the real reason these gals are the collectively the Bitch of the Week. Like the Supremes, the Pussycat Dolls, and all other great girl groups, the Spice Girls had DRAMA. Reportedly, there was a lot of in-group fighting from Day 1, particularly between Geri Halliwell (Ginger) and Mel B (Scary). Also, Emma Bunton (Baby) was allegedly hooking with the band's manager, Simon Fuller (not so innocent after all!). During this time, Posh Spice became Victoria Beckham and became a mainstream celeb in her own right, leading to her four bandmates to get pressed as fuck. Meanwhile, Mel C (Sporty) wasn't doing shit.

All the while, the girls were embracing their alter egos and becoming cartoonish parodies of themselves. Geri was having none of this and left the group. The remaining four didn't work as well as the fab five and they disbanded soon after in 2000.

But as the lyrics go, friendship never ends. The girls, Geri included, reunited in 2007 for a greatest hits tour. And once more this past summer for a performance at the Closing Ceremonies of the Olympics. And this year, Viva Forever, a musical based on their music, will debut in London. The girls were there for us as kids, and they will continue to be here for us well into adulthood. It's safe to say that Spicemania is here to stay.

Too cool to dance? Some things never change.