Showing posts with label Liam Hemsworth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Liam Hemsworth. Show all posts

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Miley's New Album Bangerz Is Full of A-List Collabs, Liam Hemsworth, and Bangerz... But Is That a Good Thing?

RIP Hannah Montana

By the end of this year, some of the biggest women in music will have released new material, making 2013 the Hunger Games of pop music. And in this age of crowded radio airwaves, talent is not enough to win. Maybe that's why these pop princesses think if they show enough skin and cross enough lines, they're true artists. Nobody is guiltier of practicing this philosophy than Miley Cyrus, whose foam-fingering, tongue-wagging, ass-twerking debauchery has been the hottest topic on the planet for the past few months. Bangerz, her first album in three years and fourth overall, is the musical embodiment of her recent public transformation, which she has aptly labeled a "strategic hot mess."

But controversy does not equal talent, and while Bangerz is more or less unmistakably Miley, it's hard to ignore the fact that her new musical identity, which she swears is completely genuine, is a calculated cocktail made up of the best parts of Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, and Rihanna. At it's best, Bangerz showcases what the Disney darling has picked up from these women. At its worst, the album feels like a massive hangover. And though she fails in her efforts to be the ultra pop star and the album just might have what it takes to turn the singer into an actualized musician.

Oddly enough, the album opens with the ballad "Adore You", an undeniably romantic ode to Liam Hemsworth, "holy matrimony" and all. The song does a good job of preparing the listener for the innumerable lyrics clearly aimed at her ex-fiancé; however, it completely buries the lead. Even the second track, "We Can't Stop", is too tame sonically, although it does capture the carefree, smoked-out content that dictates the rest of the album.

The third track, "SMS (Bangerz)", a cheery rap-off with Britney Spears, sets the pace for what follows. The song is disjointed and loud, but when Britney comes in and is all, "Catwalk, slick talk, flirting with them big dogs," she instantly puts Miley's Ke$ha-wannabe speak-singing to shame. Miss Cyrus attempts unabashed rapping on "Do My Thang", on which she proclaims, "I'm a southern belle, crazier than hell." If anything, the song is a good argument that Miley should never rap again.

"#GETITRIGHT" is Miley's attempt at Daft Punk's "Get Lucky", and oddly enough, both were crafted by Pharrell. In it, the singer exudes the same confidence she did while humping a wrecking ball completely naked: "I'm dancing in the mirror/I feel like I got no panties on/I wish that I could feel ya/So hurry, hang up that damn phone."

Every once in a while, Miley tosses out dramatic ballads. While "Wrecking Ball", the singer's first domestic number one single, stands out well on its own, it becomes quickly jaded and repetitive on the album when tracks like "Adore You", "Maybe You're Right", and "My Darlin'" capture the same sound and emotions.

Only twice on the album does Miley get experimental (a generous term for deviating slightly from her peers), and it yields mixed results. The Nelly-featured "4x4" is merrily infused with country elements. The duo takes on Bonnie & Clyde personas as they let their Southern twang run as wild as the high-speed chase they sing about. On "FU", Miley attempts to emulate Adele against a French Montana-produced EDM backdrop as she belts out, "I got two, two two letters for you/One of them's F and the other one's U". It's easily the most uninspired and blood-curdling song on the album.

Every song on Bangerz is a banger: a loud, colorful, trashy depiction of how the singer lives (or at least how she wants us to think she lives). But it's in that chaos that the album works; even when it's bad, it's so bad, it's almost good. Miley isn't doing anything that hasn't been done before her, and Bangerz is hardly the artistic statement she thinks it is, but this very well may be the record that legitimizes Miley as anything but Hannah Montana gone bad.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Bitch of the Week: Miley Cyrus

Get on her level.
It takes a certain kind of person to be able to do whatever the fuck they want and have the only response be, "She's just being Miley!" That kind of person is a Bitch of the Week. In what I personally believe is a long overdue honor, Miley Cyrus is officially the reigning BoW.

Destiny Hope Cyrus was born to a one-hit wonder and his trophy wife in 1992. Why did she have this name, you're probably asking if you don't already know. Well, according to her parents, it was her destiny to bring hope to this world. Luckily, Miss Cyrus knew that her true destiny was to one-up her mullet-touting father and become one of the most successful teen idols of all time. I hardly have to tell you what that journey entailed, but here it is in a nutshell: a blonde wig, a plethora of controversies, and a whole lotta bitchery.

So why is Miley our Bitch of the Week? Let us count the ways.

1. Her jams

Like no other Disney star before or after her, Miley has turned out countless jams. "See You Again", "7 Things", "The Climb", "Party in the USA", "When I Look at You", "Can't Be Tamed", and her latest hit "We Can't Stop" are just a few of the many examples.

2. Her man

People can say that Miley's ugly, especially after her new haircut. But she's engaged to some prime eye candy. Of course, Miley's always had an envious love life. Her first publicized romance was with tween heartthrob Nick Jonas, and that's when the anti-Miley sentiment first originated.

I know how you feel, girl.

3. Her numerous controversies

Miley understands the art of bitchery like Taylor Swift understands how to lose a boyfriend. Since the age of 15, Miss Cyrus has had few controversy-free moments, which only solidifies were status as a Bitch of the Week. She's taken countless racy photos, whether they be scandy shower shots that flirt on the border of child pornography or the infamous Vanity Fair cover. She danced on a pole at the Teen Choice Awards and was video taped taking a hit of marijuana salvia from a bong. And let's not forget her leather-clad Can't Be Tamed days, or her more recent twerk-a-thons. Shit, Miley knows how to keep people talking than anyone else in the biz.

4. Her quotes
  • "Pink isn't just a color, it's an attitude!"
  • "It's ignorant not to talk to your kids about [sex] or not make it seem as magical or cool as it actually is. Kids have a TV, so they know what sex is. So educate them and let them know … it's a beautiful thing, and it is magic..."
  • "Miley doesn't need to do anything but sit and chill and make music that I love, and make art that means something to me."
  • "I wrote ["Liberty Walk"] for women that feel like they're stuck in abusive relationships, but it's a dance song. So you think that must be kind of a sad ballad, but it's a party song."
  • "I almost feel like people think of me as dumb...I'm like, I'm smarter than you think. You know, I understand what you're trying to do. It's all a mind game and what not."
  • "People thought I was gonna be this dumb white girl that was, like twerking around and had no real thoughts."
5. Her way of dealing with the paparazzi



6. She's doing shit that we all want done

She's leading the call for black emojis, which is something we could all benefit from, tbh.

7. She dgafs hardcore

Miley literally does not give a single fuck. Demi and Selena threaten her position as alpha bitch at Disney? Miley posts a YouTube video making fun of them. Parents complain that she's too slutty? She pulls a Hannah Montana and says nobody's perfect, and then sluts it up even more. The paparazzi get all up in her grill? She starts filming them to give them a taste of their own medicine. People diss her new haircut? She makes it even fuglier (see below).

There's a lot to love about Miley. She's the ultimate summer bitch, and I'm confident that she'll be bitching it up for years to come.

Uncanny.