Tommy Picks 20 Things to Look Forward to in 2014

Happy New Year, everyone! As we herald in 2014, and hopefully get over everything that was wrong with last year, it's important that we embrace what lies ahead. After all, there's so much to look forward to in 2014, like...

1. Orange Is the New Black. Was last season's cliffhanger juicy or what?
2. Carrie Underwood's fifth album. There's no confirmation of a 2014 release, but the Queen of Country has said that her post-Sound of Music days will be devoted to working on new material.
3. The Hunger Games: Mocking Jay - Part I. Hopefully it continues the pattern and is even better than Catching Fire.
4. Possible reunions. The possibilities are endless and the rumors are rampant. I'd love to see fabulous reunions for Mean Girls, Desperate Housewives, Beverly Hills, 90210, and, of course, Friends.
5. Lea Michele's debut album.
6. Lana Del Rey's third album, UltraViolence.
7. Maleficent. It may star a former Cunt of the Week, and the trailer may have been disappointing, but everybody loves a Disney fairytale turned on its side!
8. Second rate Disney stars' return to music. 2013 was the year of Miley, Selena, and Demi. If rumors and vague statements are to be believed, 2014 may be the year of Ashley Tisdale and Hilary Duff.
9. Britney: Piece of Me. Vegas, here I come!
10. Noah. Even though I'm not really into Biblical stuff.
11. Darren Criss' debut album.
12. Girls. And Looking, which is touted as the Girls for gays.
13. The Amazing Spider-Man 2. Superhero films may bore me, but the first film in the Spider-Man reboot series was good enough to leave me wanting more. Plus I love me some Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone!
14. Pretty Little Liars. Now that we now EzrA's little secret, things are about to heat up!
15. The Muppets Most Wanted.
16. Seeing if the Superbowl is rescheduled because of snow.
17. Serena. This mysterious Depression-era film, which once again pairs Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence, has been quietly shelved many times, but will finally see its release this April. That doesn't bode well for its quality, but I'm still intrigued.
18. The inevitable break-up of One Direction's Zayn Malik and his fiancée Perrie Edwards. I will NOT let them get married.
19. Big Hero 6. It will be interesting to see how Disney animation handles superheroes.
20. Most importantly, all'a dis.

Where Are They Now?: Lalaine

Figure it out on the way.

Remember that one time Lizzie McGuire had a best friend? Remember how she was a total bitch because she developed overnight eating disorders, wore chop sticks in her hair, and totally cock blocked Lizzie and Gordo for three years? And remember how she randomly up and left because she had shit to do in Mexico City? (Or maybe it was New Mexico. Honestly, dgaf!)

Well, it seems like Miranda Sanchez disappeared just as randomly as her offscreen counterpart, Lalaine Vergara-Paras. (Who knew she had a last name?) But Tommy Time doesn't like to let Disney Channel flops slip through the cracks, so let's take a closer look as to where she's been lately. But to look at the present, one must first look at the past.

Where she's been
Lalaine decided from an early age that she was a prodigy, and like Madonna, Cher, and Prince, she figured she could get away with only using her first name. Her whole career consists of a whole lot of nothing except her aforementioned portrayal of middle school cunt Miranda Sanchez on Lizzie McGuire. However, when Lalaine got a little too big for her britches, Hilary Duff made sure that bitch was canned. Consequently, Lalaine missed the final six episodes of the series AND the movie, which tbh should have won at least seven Oscars, including Best Original Song for "What Dreams Are Made Of (Hey Now)" and Best Actress for Hilary Duff's Italian Accent as Isabella.

After that, good ole L had pretty much nothing to do. She attempted a singing career, but unless you count her rendition of "Cruella DeVil" as a thing, nothing really materialized from it. She filmed a pilot for a Lizzie McGuire spin-off called What's Stevie Thinking. Once again, Lalaine would have played the supporting role of Miranda while Selena Gomez was cast as her younger sister, Stevie. Luckily, that shit didn't pan out. Since then, all Lalaine has really done is get arrested for meth possession and play "Gossipy Girl" for a hot second in Easy A. And we all know that from that film, (1) Emma Stone came out the star and (2) Amanda Bynes emerged the hot mess. So where does that leave Lalaine?

Where she is now
I can only image that Lalaine currently spends her days writing and recording songs that she's sure will become instant #1's. Some titles have probably included, "(Hey Now, Hey Now) I'll Show You What Dreams Are Made Of, Bitch!", "Is That Hilary With One L or Two?", and "Where's MY Animated Counterpart?" In between coke binges and and unrequited sexual advances toward Kyle Massey and other Disney alumni, Lalaine stalks Hilary, hoping to slay her, wear her skin, and take on her role as mother, wife, and actress/singer/author/everythingunderthesun.

Every once in a while, she'll call Disney and leaves the same message:

Hey! It's Lalaine again. I think you accidentally deleted my last message. That's okay, though. I was just thinking about it, you know, just casually, and I think we could TOTALLY still do What's Stevie Thinking. Selena isn't too old for it, she can so still pass for 13. But if you're skeptical, we can just do What's Miranda Thinking! I think it was hard on the fans when she just disappeared without explanation. They deserve to know what she's up to.

And we don't even need Hilary! I mean, if you want to get her, we could, I guess. I'm totally open. But we could also just say Lizzie died in a fiery plane crash or Gordo murdered her and their unborn child. You know, maybe she got kidnapped by the Mexican drug cartel and they cut her body into little pieces and sold it on the black market. I'm just spitballing here. And maybe we could get Brad Pitt to play Miranda's husband. But, you know, whatever. Like I said, it was just a really casual random idea that popped into my head. But I think it could really go somewhere. So just let me know! Thanks guys!

Needless to say, that shit goes unanswered. Poor thing.

Let us see not view Lalaine as a tragedy, but rather a cautionary tale. Bella Thorne, take note! Disney stars should never use only their first name unless they EARN it (i.e. Raven), nor should they piss off Hilary Duff. The end.

Demi Lovato: Not a Cunt, Not Yet a Bitch

Demi desperately trying to be Miley.

Ever since the advent of Tommy Time's Bitch and Cunt of the Week, I've struggled to determine which title was best suited for Disney darling Demi Lovato. Not matter how much time I spend assessing the situation, I reach only one conclusion: Demi doesn't belong in either category; rather, she exists, quite possibly alone, in an in-between state. This post will explain why.

The story of how Demi rose to fame is nothing special. After Hilary Duff showed Disney Channel they could turn mediocre-at-best child actors into mediocre-at-best singers, the company began looking for anyone they could turn into a million-dollar brand. Existing assets like Raven were immediately put on the fast track for (often ill-fated) music careers. New stars were introduced in music-oriented programing, like Miley Cyrus in Hannah Montana, so the transition from actress to pop star would be seamless.

Everything people hate about Disney Channel.

So when Demi found herself cast in Camp Rock in 2008, she was clearly just another lucky victim of the Disney machine. At first, she was harmless. Sure, Camp Rock would never be as good as High School Musical, and Demi had some fugly ass bangs. But she would never be as bad as Miley, who was starting to shred her kid-friendly image one scandalous photo at a time, right?

For a while, it seemed that way. Demi was fortunate enough to have gotten "in" with the Jonas Brothers. (For whatever reason, in a pre-Bieber world, the girlfriends of teen heartthrobs were embraced by the fans, not threatened.) She was also biffles with fellow Disney starlet and Miley antithesis Selena Gomez, a friendship that culminated in the television movie Princess Protection Program. (Yes, it was as bad as it sounds.) At this time, Demi was still no where near cool enough to be a bitch, but was by no means a cunt.

Then came the pictures. Demi got her first taste of scandal when the tabloids went nuts over red carpet photos of the young starlet with what looked like scars on her wrists. Don't get me wrong; self-harming tendencies are seriously sad and by no means make her a cunt. However, when she blamed the scars on candy bracelets, I was starting to get over it. If you're going to lie about it, let's make it a little more believable. Last time I checked, candy bracelets don't draw blood.

One of the few times the Golden Trio was ever together.

Not too long after, Demi and Selena had a falling out. While Demi was partying hard with her Camp Rock 2 costars, Selena was slowly gaining fame outside of the Mouse House through her friendship with Taylor Swift and alleged romance with Taylor Lautner. The two were no longer seeing eye to eye, and Demi was clearly on a downward spiral of self-harm and self-indulgence.

In 2010, she reached rock bottom when she pulled out of a joint concert tour with the Jonas Brothers and entered a rehab facility for undisclosed physical and emotional issues. As you all know, word soon got out that Demi was indeed cutting herself, and that she also suffered from an eating disorder. She was released four months later. She used her experiences for good and spoke out against the bullying that caused the majority of her pain, which is commendable. The media celebrated her recovery, as they should.

However, what people fail to remember is that Demi was not only getting treated for bulimia and cutting, but also for a cocaine addiction. In fact, the only reason she went to rehab is because her back-up dancer reported Demi's little drug habit to their tour manager. When Demi responded by punching the dancer in the face, her people decided it was high time she got some help. I'm glad Demi is turning her darkest days into something positive, but it always pissed me off that everything else was swept under the rug. She was a victim, for sure, but she also had some 'splaining to do. #IMeanAmIRightOrAmIRight

Since then, however, Demi has really pulled a 180. Is there anyone who wouldn't agree that "Give Your Heart a Break" is a jam? She also proved to be a sassy, passionate, and insightful judge on The X Factor, and even conceded on more than one occasion that fellow judge Britney Spears was her superior. Clearly, she got her shit together.

In conclusion, Demi has had a checkered past. Despite the fact that she could sing circles around Miley or Selena, I've always found her less interesting. And after her monumental personal problems, I'll admit I didn't like her that much at all. #RihannaSyndrome But she's made it really hard to hate her in the past year, and I've definitely become a fan. However, she still lacks the badassness required to be Bitch of the Week. Maybe in the future she'll find herself on that prestigious list. Until then, this will have to do.

Where Are They Now?: Christy Carlson Romano

Yikes.

She's an original Disney teen queen. She brought to life Shia LaBeouf's nark sister and a firecrotch crime fighter, and she appeared in a highly successful trilogy of ABC Family original movies. Call her, beep her, if you wanna reach her. She's Christy Carlson Romano.

If you were a fan of the Disney Channel during its golden era, you don't need a fucking explanation as to who CCR is. She simply is and that's good enough for you. However, I think we're all a little lost as to what homegirl is up to these days. But to look at the present, one must first look at the past.

Where she's been
Christy was a Broadway baby, appearing in national tours of hit musicals throughout her childhood. Her breakout, however, came in Y2K when girlfriend was cast in Even Stevens, a Disney show that most of look back on fondly. Christy, who insisted on using her entire fucking name professionally, played Ren Stevens, an uptight eighth-grader, for three years. Yes, at age 19, she was still playing an eighth grader.

It wasn't long before she was pulling double duty as the voice of Kim Possible. Between these two shows, the hit TV film Cadet Kelly co-starring Hilary Duff, and random ass music videos like "Teacher's Pet" and "Could It Be" playing on Disney Channel every fucking second, it seemed like CCR was truly going to make it far, right?

Wrong. While Hilary went off to do great things with her career, Christy never could break free from Disney. Even Shia, who did next to nothing else while portraying fucktard Louis on Even Stevens, made a name for himself. All Miss Romano could land was a role in The Cutting Edge ice skating movies on ABC Family. That's just fucking embarrassing.

True, Christy has starred in a few Broadway shows, including as Belle Beauty and the Beast, and has made a few television guest appearances here and there, but her career has pretty much gone down the crapper. Even her attempt to launch a music career failed. (REALLY?! You couldn't even get a fucking record deal from DISNEY, who hands them out like candy?!)

So, where is she now?
So what is CCR up to these days? Pretty much nothing. Her only credit since 2010 is on a webseries called MyMusic (again, WHAT music?!). She's even more irrelevant than the dude who played The Famous Jett Jackson. I can only imagine she spends her days in the gym, trying to keep herself in tiptop shape for the job that will never come. In between jogs and rounds on the elliptical, she calls whoever she thinks can help her get the ball rolling on a Cutting Edge 4. Soon, you'll probably see her in a T-Mobile or bubble gum commercial. All the while, she probably writes and records music and posts them on YouTube, MySpace, and other such embarrassing venues.

She hasn't been able to hold down a relationship because her requires all her lovers to help her carry out some sick Ren/Louis role play. Every once in a while, Shia LaBeouf gets a phone call at 2AM from a hysterical Christy crying about her failed career. The next morning, she calls him again with a renewed faith in her talent and apologizes for her meltdown. You see, she's been toiling with undiagnosed bipolar disorder for some time now. Poor Christy. Maybe if you hadn't gotten greedy and spread yourself too thin with your shitload of Disney projects in the early 2000s, you wouldn't be in this predicament. But there's no knowing that for sure. What's done is done!

Tommy Picks 20 Things to Look Forward to in 2013

Ring it in!

Well, it's officially 2013. I've already posted a list of 20 things we need to get the fuck over as we leave 2012 behind. So now, on a more positive note, I've listed 20 things to look forward to for the next 12 months.

1. Britney Spears. Album 8. It's confirmed.
2. The Kimye Baby
3. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosting the Golden Globes
4. Oz: The Great and Powerful
5. 20-year high school reunion for the original Beverly Hills, 90210 gang. Make it happen. #TeamKelly
6. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
7. The Miley Cyrus/Liam Hemsworth Wedding
8. One Direction's world tour. Am I going as of yet? No. Would I kill to go? Probably.
9. The return of Pretty Little Liars
10. The Man of Steel
11. Watching laughing at The Carrie Diaries as it falls flat on its ass
12. Gangster Squad. Love me some Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone!
13. Stricter gun control and gay marriage errywhere. (I know, serious things? #ugh)
14. Ryan Reynolds and anything he does.
15. Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey catfights on American Idol
16. Seeing if Amanda Bynes' hit-and-runs outnumber Lindsay Lohan's arrests
17. Saving Mr. Banks. Tom Hanks plays Walt Disney. #sold
18. Albums 4 from Miley, Demi, Selena, and Hilary. Let's make it a fucking jam-packed year, ladies!
19. The Great Gatsby
20. Most importantly, this (hopefully) happening.

Happy New Year!!!

25 Days of Christmas #20: "Santa Claus Lane" by Hilary Duff

My best friend Hilary Duff has an entire Christmas album, but nothing compares to the yuletide joy that is her rendition of "Santa Claus Lane".

What are you asking for this holiday season? A chance to meet Hilary Duff? That's awkward because I already had, so stay pressed.

That One Time I Met Hilary Duff

Life.

I've always been a Hilary Duff fan, and who can blame me? As an actress, she brought alive the ever-so-relatable Lizzie McGuire, and also starred in hits such as The Lizzie McGuire Movie, A Cinderella Story, and The Perfect Man, amongst others. As a songstress, she bestowed upon us jam after jam, including (but certainly not limited to) "What Dreams Are Made Of", "So Yesterday", "Come Clean", "Fly", and "Stranger". In short, she defined my generation, and unlike Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and the other celebrities who came about in my youth, she managed to keep a low profile life free from controversy. She also blazed the trail for the "Disney tween queens," allowing us to enjoy gems such as Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez for all of prosperity. (Or, in Miley's case, until they get a fugly haircut.)

Funny thing is that Hilary was definitely on the short list for future Bitches of the Week, because she's just so awesome. However, after meeting her in person, I totes decided to blog about her now. Yesterday, Hilary came to speak at my school. I basically planned by whole week around the event, as did many of my colleagues. I did everything I could to ensure I would have an optimal experience, which included being seventh in a line of like 500 people and buying her book at the event so I would be guaranteed her autograph. Me being pressed as all fuck when I saw other people getting better access to the Disney darling was also a recurring sitch throughout the day.

At approximately 4pm PST on October 16, 2012, life began. Like Jesus Christ rising from the grave, Hilary floated on stage. She spoke about everything from her career to her humanitarianism to her new life as a wife and mother. (She also brought up several times how great her sister is. Guess we can't agree on everything! Though it was fun to watch her eloquently dance around the fact that Haylie is a major flop.) Some questions stumped her, especially the ones asking about her biggest failures or regrets. UM. She doesn't have any. She's Hilary fucking Duff. However, she did say that she did a string of independent films that "only like 9 people saw." Guess who was one of those 9 people? This bitch!

After about an hour, the Q&A session ended and it was time for the book signing. The dick who was in charge of the event told us we were absolutely not allowed to take pictures with Hilary. I was like, BITCH! I did not pay 19 dollars for her book just to stand next to her and not document the beautiful, life-changing moment. Thankfully, Hilary realized this guy had a major stick up his ass and took pictures with everyone anyway! You go, Hil!

As I waited in line, I contemplated what I would say to Hilary. "I love you!" was too generic, but "Me and my friend have Hilary Duff marathons all the time" was just too specific. Could I ask a question? Naturally everybody wants to know what the fuck went down with Lalaine, but I didn't want her to think I was only interested in idle gossip. And would she appreciate me asking what she thinks Lizzie is up to these days? I couldn't be sure. Then it hit me: I'll tell her I've seen those independent movies that nobody else had seen. She was so proud of (most of) them and I could tell her how much I loved them.

So I hollered right on up to her and said, "Hey, Hilary! How are you?" Totally casual. Then she was like, "Hi, Tommy." I was like OMG she knows my name. (I totally forgot that they had us write our names on a post-it note so she knew how to spell them.) She continued, "I'm good. My cheeks hurt because I've been grinning so much!" I started freaking out because I thought this was her nice way of saying "I don't want to take anymore pictures." Luckily, she took one anyway! I then told her how I was one of the 9 people who saw those movies, and how much I loved According to Gretta. She lit up and said, "Oh, good! Thank you so much!" I then brought up War, Inc. which was a steaming pile of shit. But I didn't say that. I just mentioned that I had seen it. Her response: "Oh God, you stayed awake during that?" #Honesty

I decided to flatter her some more and say, "Only for you! You were hilarious!" (because she was). Then she told me I was sweet and asked me if I liked her song in the film. At this moment, I contemplated telling her I owned every song she's ever recorded. Then I thought, better not. So I just said "Of course!" and my time was up. I thanked her, she thanked me, and that was that.

Naturally, I had to sit down after such an experience. I'm no stranger to meeting Disney Channel stars; three years ago, I met two-thirds of the Jonas Brothers. However, this wasn't just running into Joe and Nick at a restaurant and timidly asking for a picture. This was like the fucking rapture! This was Hilary fucking Duff asking me if I liked her song and joking about her flop movies! Oh my Hilary, she is is just too fun.

If you haven't already, I highly encourage you to try and meet Hilary. She's great and meeting her is life.

The Cult of the Other Sister

For hours now, I have been fascinated by the societal phenomenon known as the other sister. This term refers to the sister of someone super famous and successful. The other sister is typically a major flop at life and pressed as fuck when it comes to her sister's fabulous life. I've compiled a list of the most notably pressed other sisters to help give the term legs.

Haylie sucks in her stomach. If looking skinnier
than Hilary is all she can get, then so be it!

1. Haylie Duff
Imagine being the older sister to the girl who revolutionized Disney Channel at the ripe age of 13 and remained famous well into adulthood for doing close to nothing else. This is the plight of Haylie Duff, whom you may know better as "Hilary's embarrassingly desperate sister." It's so easy to forget that Haylie is also in show business. Her career highlights include a supporting role in the overrated film Napoleon Dynamite and covering "Our Lips Are Sealed" with Hilary. Other than that, Haylie has mostly just stayed behind the scenes, writing and producing songs for her sister while Hilary soaks up all the attention and fame.

Most of Haylie's attempts to secure acting roles have been met with the response "Oh, we thought you were Hilary. Umm. Don't call us, we'll call you." She even tried to get her own recording career started, until Paris Hilton stole her song and people decided that they just didn't want to deal with Haylie anymore. C'est la vie! Just think, Haylie, had you been born just two years later, you could have been Lizzie McGuire!

I know what you're thinking. No, this is not
Paris taking her horse out to the pasture.
That's her sister, Nicky!

2. Nicky Hilton
Speaking of Paris Hilton, did you forget that she had a sister? I often do. In fact, the only thing I really knew about Nicky is that she got screwed in the name department. (Imagine having a sister named Paris while you're saddled with a name like Nicky, which just sounds like a bunch of gibberish!) Anyway, through my research, I learned something new: Nicky is actually younger than Paris. I always assumed she was older; she sure looks like it!

While Paris and Nicky stumbled into the spotlight together in the early 2000s, Paris swiftly realized that Nicky was holding her back, probably because she's about as interesting as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. So Paris went ahead without her sister, made a sex tape, got a reality show, and the rest is history. Nicky was so pressed that she got a quickie Las Vegas marriage in 2004, hoping to earn some attention. Her plan didn't work out, and neither did her marriage, in case you were curious, which I'm sure you weren't. It's safe to assume that Nicky will spend the rest of her life in a Hilton Hotel room while Paris bathes in the spotlight. What's funny is that the Hilton sisters also have two brothers. At least Nicky can say she's more famous than them!

Who's that basic bitch standing next to Anne?

3. Mary Boleyn
Other sisters have been plaguing humanity throughout history. A really long time ago, King Henry VIII was fucking, marrying, and killing any seemingly fertile woman that came his way. One such slore was Anne Boleyn, his second wife whose marriage to Hank basically changed the face of England for all eternity. But whatever. More importantly, Anne was a grade A bitch, if her portrayal in The Other Boleyn Girl is anything to go by. #NotHereForHistoricalAccuracy Even more importantly, she had a sister named Mary, who was about as basic and pressed as they come.

Mary tried so hard to be like Anne, but she never did anything right. Anne's coy flirting and teasing eventually got her a throne and a tiara. Meanwhile, Mary put out for any king who glanced her way and all she got were a couple of bastard children who received no special royal treatment. Mary had such severe other sister syndrome that for centuries nobody cared about her, if they even knew she existed at all. In fact, nobody even knew when the hell she was born. It was only recently that people started giving a flying fuck about her, but that's mostly because our society has gotten more interested in King Henry, Anne, and the Tudor era in general and Mary was just kind of there (not at all unlike how Kevin Jonas is just kind of there with Nick and Joe, but that's for another day). The only good thing Mary had going for her is that she didn't get her head chopped off like Anne did. Then again, what a fabulously dramatic way to peace out. You go, Anne!

The Spears sisters before they both fucked up.

4. Jamie Lynn Spears
While Jamie Lynn Spears is a pressed other sister through and through, I would almost classify her as her own breed. Unlike the other basic bitches on this list, I actually like Jamie Lynn! But that doesn't change the fact that every decision she's ever made seems like a calculated plan to outshine her sister, the legendary Miss Britney Spears. Jamie Lynn has been pressed since birth, mostly due to the fact that Britney got an actual name and all she got was a hybrid of her father and mother's names (Jamie and Lynn, respectively). Then, as Britney became the greatest thing to grace this desolate planet, Jamie Lynn was like, "Wait, me too!" Here's a run down of what happened next:

• Britney got her start on The Mickey Mouse Club, so naturally Jamie Lynn had to squeeze her way into another kid-friendly variety show. She did so in All That - not the good All That with Kenan and Kel, the really shitty one that had people like Jamie Lynn.
• Britney blew up the music scene with jam after jam. Good ole JL knew she couldn't compete in that arena, so she took the acting route and starred in Zoey 101, which I'll admit is a classic. But it didn't last long, because...
• Britney's life was not going so well, so Jamie Lynn decided to fuck a guy from church and birth his baby at the ripe age of 16. "Any meltdown you can do, I can do better," Jamie Lynn warned.
• Britney proved she was stronger than yesterday with the most successful comeback this world has ever seen, so Jamie Lynn also attempted a comeback, which so far has comprised of a grassroots effort to launch a music career in Nashville. Good luck. I mean it!

They're both flops, but only one is pressed.

 5. Ashlee Simpson
Anybody who devotes an entire song to living in her sister's shadow is obviously pressed as fuck. While Jessica Simpson is hardly someone to be jealous of, younger sister Ashlee just can't seem to get her shit together and therefore is practically the poster child for the other sister. Her life has just been a clusterfuck of thinly veiled attempts to replicate Jessica's life. Ashlee became a "singer," just like Jessica. Ashlee became an "actress," just like Jessica. Ashlee had a reality show, just like Jessica. Ashlee's controversial nose job, which she got after making some spiel about self-image, mirrors Jessica's scrutinized weight fluctuation. Ash even demonstrated that she is just as dumb as Jessica, first when she married Pete Wentz and then when she got caught lip syncing during a performance on Saturday Night Live, did an Irish jig to distract the audience, and then blamed it all on acid reflux. Jessica has had some pretty embarrassing TV moments, but at least they were never that bad! In trying to copy her sister's every move, Ashlee proved only two things: (1) The spelling of her name is fucking disgusting; and (2) playing dumb only works for blondes. Sorry 'bout it!