This or That: Taylor Swift vs. Carrie Underwood

Carrie be like, "Okay, bitch. Calm down."

For whatever reason, Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift are constantly compared to one another by the media and the public. As far as I'm concerned, the two singers are worlds apart. Even Carrie herself is baffled by this bullshit. I'm sure you're all aware that I have a certain obsession with one of these artists and a certain disdain for the other; however, I'm willing to (try and) put aside all biases while I dissect these comparisons and declare a winner in Tommy Time's first ever This or That! (Because I love conflict and starting shit. It's a hobby.)

Musical styles
Both Taylor and Carrie consider themselves country artists, and while both dabble in other genres, only Carrie's music remains rooted in legit country music in terms of structure and lyrical content. Taylor, on the other hand, is primarily a pop artist who occasionally brings in some elements of country. I'll remind you of her recent hit, "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" (as if you could ever forget its endless radio airplay). The song sounds exactly like any other pop song out there, and it should. It was co-written by Max Martin, who is best known for his work with Britney Spears, N Sync, Kelly Clarkson, and Katy Perry. Notice how there's not a single country artist on that list? The song even needed a country remix to play on country radio, which is just sad. Similarly, Taylor's "Red" experiments with autotune while "I Knew You Were Trouble" is littered with dubstep. Sorry, bitch, but that ain't country. This round goes to Carrie!

Talent
Anybody who would even dare insinuate that Taylor is a better vocalist than Carrie can go fuck themselves because they're obviously deaf and/or just plain stupid. Carrie's voice is the closest thing on this Earth to an angel singing. Taylor sounds like an 11-year-old with the flu. However, snaps for Taylor for writing all of her own songs. While Carrie has written some of her own biggest hits, she's never penned an entire album by herself like Taylor did with Speak Now. So one's the better vocalist, and other is the better, or at least more frequent songwriter. They each bring something to the table, so this round is a draw!

Sales, numbers, and figures
Carrie's singles perform better on country radio, but as a crossover artist, Taylor's singles outperform Carrie's across the board. Carrie's best selling album Some Hearts outsold Taylor's best selling effort Fearless. However, Taylor's overall album sales outpace Carrie's by almost 4 million. Similarly, Taylor's digital song sales dwarf Carrie's 2 to 1 while her tour sales outnumber Carrie's 3 to 1. Clearly, this round goes to Taylor!

Personal lives
In her 7 years of fame, Carrie has only been linked to 3 men, including Mike Fisher, her husband of almost 3 years. Taylor, on the other hand, has reportedly been linked to at least 13 individuals since 2009 and still maintains that she's sweet, innocent, pure, and most importantly, the victim. (Also, kudos to Carrie for landing Gossip Girl actor Chace Crawford. What a catch! Most of Taylor's boyfriends have been janky as fuck.) This round goes to Carrie!

There you have it. While Taylor might be the more popular artist (which is odd considering the public's disdain for her seems to have skyrocketed in the past year), Carrie is obviously way better. I knew from the start this argument was a waste of time, but hopefully Taylorphiles can learn a thing or two here. Until next time, stay pressed.