Why Lindsay Lohan Will Never Be Cunt of the Week

It's like the evolution of mankind.

This week, Lindsay Lohan made headlines for actually showing up to her interview with David Letterman, because after six arrests, a few theft accusations, countless hospitalizations and trips to rehab, and an atrocious cameo on Glee, it's breaking news if Lilo is doing something right for a change.

Many have wondered why Lindsay, in all her infamy, hasn't gotten Cunt of the Week yet. (I mean, she's basically like the original Amanda Bynes.) She's definitely been on the short list for some time, but the simple truth is I just cannot bring myself to give her the title. Why?

Maybe I'm nostalgic. Between Mean Girls, The Parent Trap, and Get a Clue, Lilo has provided our generation with many classics. Maybe I take pity on her. In all honesty, making fun of Lindsay Lohan in such a way would be like asking Helen Keller to sort marbles by color. But I think the real reason she will never be Cunt of the Week is because I still have HOPE that she can turn her shit around.

In the aforementioned David Letterman interview, Lindsay was, by no stretch of the imagination, her old self, but she was humorous and willing to make fun of herself. And though she called herself a "victim" at one point, she took responsibility for her troubles and said she considered her impending trip to rehab (May 2, y'all) a "blessing." Whether or not she's telling the truth remains to be seen, but I'd like to think that she is!

Or maybe she's just a better actress than we thought.

Nah. We've all seen Liz & Dick.