A Few Thoughts on the Teen Choice Awards

I could cry at this glory.

The Teen Choice Awards are my absolute jam, simply because they pay tribute to the glossy, trashy pop culture that I find so appealing. This year's ceremony was especially enticing, for a myriad of reasons, which I will get into after the jump! #TearsForLeaAhead

Hosted by Teen Royalty
Fucking holla for whoever came up will the totally brill idea of having Darren Criss and Lucy Hale host the Teen Choice Awards. I can't think of a more attractive and charismatic pair of hosts, and I definitely think they should date each other (lest Darren come out of the closet and make all my dreams come true).

Harry Styles Gives Miley a Run for Her Money
Miley Cyrus may have been one of the first major celebrities to twerk what she's got, but it's clear that One Direction's Harry Styles is the true master of the art form.

Whistle while you twerk.

Rebel Wilson Rebels Against the Censors

Rebel Wilson is pretty much always flawless, and continued to be so when she accepted her award for Choice Comedy Movie Actress in a wetsuit. But the best part was when girlfriend made the following joke: "You know what's weird? When I found out that there was a band called One Direction, because that's the name I also gave my a--hole." Priceless.

Next year's host?

Demi Salutes the Stars and Stripes
"Made In the USA" is definitely one of the best jams off of Demi's most recent album, so I was so excited to hear her perform it live. Not only did she kill it, but she was assisted by drummer Nick Jonas, who has spent these past few Disney-free years solidifying his hunk status.

Ashton Kutcher Redefines Sexy... Literally
The always arrogant but always delicious Ashton Kutcher was the recipient of the Ultimate Choice Award, which he joked was "the grandpa award." While giving his tips for success, he said: "The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart, and being thoughtful, and being generous. Everything else is crap, I promise you! It's just crap that people try to sell to you to make you feel like less, so don't buy it." #PreachIt

  
Miley Cyrus Practically Strip Teases Before Accepting Her Award
When Miley won Choice Summer Song for "We Can't Stop", she apparently thought she was allowed to take her time. Not only does she drag little sis Noah on stage with her, but Miley danced for her fans before finally slinking her way to the mic to accept the award. It's hard to believe that only 4 years ago, she was pole dancing to "Party in the USA" at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards.

Lea Michele Dedicates Her Award to Cory
Making her first public appearance since Cory Monteith's death last month, Lea Michele accepted her award for Choice TV Actress in a Comedy. Not only did she look great, but she bravely and beautifully sang the praises of her late boyfriend, and I'll bet there wasn't a dry eye in the house!

It was a night of laughs, tears, and wtf's. But it was beautiful.