Tommy Picks 20 Things to Look Forward to in 2014

Happy New Year, everyone! As we herald in 2014, and hopefully get over everything that was wrong with last year, it's important that we embrace what lies ahead. After all, there's so much to look forward to in 2014, like...

1. Orange Is the New Black. Was last season's cliffhanger juicy or what?
2. Carrie Underwood's fifth album. There's no confirmation of a 2014 release, but the Queen of Country has said that her post-Sound of Music days will be devoted to working on new material.
3. The Hunger Games: Mocking Jay - Part I. Hopefully it continues the pattern and is even better than Catching Fire.
4. Possible reunions. The possibilities are endless and the rumors are rampant. I'd love to see fabulous reunions for Mean Girls, Desperate Housewives, Beverly Hills, 90210, and, of course, Friends.
5. Lea Michele's debut album.
6. Lana Del Rey's third album, UltraViolence.
7. Maleficent. It may star a former Cunt of the Week, and the trailer may have been disappointing, but everybody loves a Disney fairytale turned on its side!
8. Second rate Disney stars' return to music. 2013 was the year of Miley, Selena, and Demi. If rumors and vague statements are to be believed, 2014 may be the year of Ashley Tisdale and Hilary Duff.
9. Britney: Piece of Me. Vegas, here I come!
10. Noah. Even though I'm not really into Biblical stuff.
11. Darren Criss' debut album.
12. Girls. And Looking, which is touted as the Girls for gays.
13. The Amazing Spider-Man 2. Superhero films may bore me, but the first film in the Spider-Man reboot series was good enough to leave me wanting more. Plus I love me some Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone!
14. Pretty Little Liars. Now that we now EzrA's little secret, things are about to heat up!
15. The Muppets Most Wanted.
16. Seeing if the Superbowl is rescheduled because of snow.
17. Serena. This mysterious Depression-era film, which once again pairs Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence, has been quietly shelved many times, but will finally see its release this April. That doesn't bode well for its quality, but I'm still intrigued.
18. The inevitable break-up of One Direction's Zayn Malik and his fiancée Perrie Edwards. I will NOT let them get married.
19. Big Hero 6. It will be interesting to see how Disney animation handles superheroes.
20. Most importantly, all'a dis.

Jam of the Week: "Cannonball" by Lea Michele

I've been waiting five years for Lea Michele to launch a solo career and that time has FINALLY come. Glee's leading lady has been working on her debut album for over a year now, and if its lead single and Jam of the Week, "Cannonball", is any indication, it's going to be amazing.

Lyrically, "Cannonball" is similar to "Roar", "Firework", and a slew of other Katy Perry songs in that it speaks about self-empowerment. But while Katy's songs are vague pick-me-ups, Leas "Cannonball" definitely seems to be about her overcoming her grief after Cory Monteith's death. It's spectacular, even if she does pronounce "cannon" a little oddly.

Have this ish on repeat.

Best News of the Week: Demi Lovato Joins Glee, Will Slay You With Brilliant Covers

"Don't stop believin'!"

Glee just got a whole lot better!

After several days of speculation, Fox has officially announced that Demi Lovato is joining the cast of Glee for its upcoming fifth season, which kicks of September 26 with a two-part Beatles tribute. It's her first acting gig since she ditched Sonny With a Chance for rehab back in 2010.

Not much is known about the role except that she will be playing Dani, a fellow NYADA student, who befriends Rachel (Lea Michele) and Santana (Naya Rivera). Demi will reportedly duet with both Naya and Adam Lambert, who also joins the cast this season.

Demi's first appearance will be in the second part of the aforementioned Beatles tribute, after which the show will air its tribute episode to Cory Monteith and take an extended hiatus.

This is fucking amazing for multiple reasons. First of all, it means more Demi jams. I'm eager to hear what she'll sing! (Although it is a bit weird that she's coming onto the show now, after they covered one of her songs last season. That's a bit too meta for me.)

Secondly, Glee airs alongside The X Factor, on which Demi is still a judge, on Thursday nights, meaning Fox is clearly run by Lovatics. (But who am I kidding? Without Britney, there's no reason to watch The X Factor.)

So everybody just buckle the fuck up, because Demi is taking over.

A Few Thoughts on the Teen Choice Awards

I could cry at this glory.

The Teen Choice Awards are my absolute jam, simply because they pay tribute to the glossy, trashy pop culture that I find so appealing. This year's ceremony was especially enticing, for a myriad of reasons, which I will get into after the jump! #TearsForLeaAhead

Hosted by Teen Royalty
Fucking holla for whoever came up will the totally brill idea of having Darren Criss and Lucy Hale host the Teen Choice Awards. I can't think of a more attractive and charismatic pair of hosts, and I definitely think they should date each other (lest Darren come out of the closet and make all my dreams come true).

Harry Styles Gives Miley a Run for Her Money
Miley Cyrus may have been one of the first major celebrities to twerk what she's got, but it's clear that One Direction's Harry Styles is the true master of the art form.

Whistle while you twerk.

Rebel Wilson Rebels Against the Censors

Rebel Wilson is pretty much always flawless, and continued to be so when she accepted her award for Choice Comedy Movie Actress in a wetsuit. But the best part was when girlfriend made the following joke: "You know what's weird? When I found out that there was a band called One Direction, because that's the name I also gave my a--hole." Priceless.

Next year's host?

Demi Salutes the Stars and Stripes
"Made In the USA" is definitely one of the best jams off of Demi's most recent album, so I was so excited to hear her perform it live. Not only did she kill it, but she was assisted by drummer Nick Jonas, who has spent these past few Disney-free years solidifying his hunk status.

Ashton Kutcher Redefines Sexy... Literally
The always arrogant but always delicious Ashton Kutcher was the recipient of the Ultimate Choice Award, which he joked was "the grandpa award." While giving his tips for success, he said: "The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart, and being thoughtful, and being generous. Everything else is crap, I promise you! It's just crap that people try to sell to you to make you feel like less, so don't buy it." #PreachIt

  
Miley Cyrus Practically Strip Teases Before Accepting Her Award
When Miley won Choice Summer Song for "We Can't Stop", she apparently thought she was allowed to take her time. Not only does she drag little sis Noah on stage with her, but Miley danced for her fans before finally slinking her way to the mic to accept the award. It's hard to believe that only 4 years ago, she was pole dancing to "Party in the USA" at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards.

Lea Michele Dedicates Her Award to Cory
Making her first public appearance since Cory Monteith's death last month, Lea Michele accepted her award for Choice TV Actress in a Comedy. Not only did she look great, but she bravely and beautifully sang the praises of her late boyfriend, and I'll bet there wasn't a dry eye in the house!

It was a night of laughs, tears, and wtf's. But it was beautiful.

Throwback Thursday: Tommy Picks the Best of Glee, Season 3

Remember when the main cast had 400 people in it?

In the past few months, I've selected the best Glee performances of Seasons 1 and 2, and with the third season just around the corner, it's high time to continue the praise. The show's third season was more Broadway-heavy than its predecessors, but that doesn't mean there weren't some absolute jams. In fact, some of my favorite Glee songs come from this season. (The fact that Blaine sang like everything didn't hurt, either!) So let's delve into the Best of Glee, Season 3!



10. "Smooth Criminal" by Santana & Sebastian
After Madonna, Britney Spears, Rocky Horror Picture Show, and Fleetwood Mac got tribute episodes, it was only a matter of time that Michael Jackson would get his due. With an inflated number of musical performances (9 in just the one episode), the episode was sloppy and out of fucking control. But one thing did come out it. Santana had a sing-off with Warbler Sebastian and the result was a fantastic cover of my favorite MJ song, "Smooth Criminal".

9. "Fix You" by Will & the New Directions
Every time Glee touches Coldplay, it turns to gold. They tackled one of the band's biggest hits as Will proclaims hit love and devotion to Emma. And even though Mr. Schue barely gets to sing, he always hits it out of the park!

8. "Shake It Out" by Santana, Mercedes, & Tina
Because Glee doesn't like to leave any social issue untouched, they decided to incorporate domestic violence into a storyline. Coach Bieste, who is, to quote Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, roughly the size of a barge, is the victim of such abuse. Santana, Mercedes, and Tina figure that if they sing her a stripped down version of a Florence + the Machine song, everything will work out. The lesson is horrible, but the acoustic performance of "Shake It Out" is flawless.

7. "Cry" by Rachel
In Season 3, Rachel learned that she may not be as talented and confident as she thought after blowing her NYADA audition. To express her melancholy, Rachel sings a little known Kelly Clarkson song.

6. "Tongue Tied" by New Directions
One of the rare instances when the glee club doesn't perform a song onscreen, their rendition of "Tongue Tied" plays as the New Directions celebrate their win at Nationals. The song is perfect and features one of Cory Monteith's best vocal performances on the show.

5. "Roots Before Branches" by Rachel
Rachel solos are my absolute jam, so naturally I was pleased when Season 3 ended with one of Lea Michele's most powerful performances. After Finn breaks up with her for her own good, she bids Lima, Ohio goodbye and hops aboard a train to New York.

4. "Without You" by Rachel
Yup, another Rachel solo! Sorry about it, but this is absolutely flawless. David Guetta and Usher's "Without You" is already a jam, but take away the dance beat and let Lea Michele do her thing, and you have life.

3. "Rumour Has It/Someone Like You" by the Troubletones
Perhaps the biggest highlight of Season 3 was the storyline in which those members of New Directions who felt unappreciated split off and formed an all-girl rival club, the Troubletones. And who can forget their memorable mash-up of Adele's "Rumour Has It" and "Someone Like You"? Certainly not me.

2. "We Are Young" by New Directions
When the aforementioned Troubletones disbanded and rejoined the New Directions, they sang "We Are Young". Glee covered the song before the original version hit airwaves; in fact, Fun's version wouldn't have been successful if it weren't for this performance. What's more, Glee did it better.

1. "Cough Syrup" by Blaine
This is quite possibly my favorite Glee performance ever. Darren Criss' voice doesn't always hit its mark, but "Cough Syrup" is exemplary of just how good he can be. So just bask in all it's glory. (Fair warning: Blaine's performance is intercut with scenes a suicide attempt.)

The third season was hot mess, but it was filled with so many jams. I think this list accurately highlights the strongest performances. Stay tuned for the Best of Season 4 soon!

Throwback Thursday: Tommy Picks the Best of Glee, Season 2

It was all downhill from here.

Two months ago, I compiled a list of the top ten performances from the first season of Glee and expressed my sadness over its decline in quality. Season 2, while still miles ahead of what has since followed, marked the beginning of the end of Glee in terms of story quality. However, in my opinion, the season had the best music thus far. And Darren Criss, the best thing to happen to the show and life in general, joined the series this season as Blaine. So, yeah. Like a million bonus points. Let's see what made the cut in the Best of Glee, Season 2.

10. "Dog Days Are Over" by Tina, Mercedes, and the New Directions
Normally I run for the hills when I hear Tina is getting a solo or any unwarranted screen time. But I had nothing but love for her when she and Mercedes covered Florence + The Machine's "Dog Days Are Over". It's quite thematic for the band of underdogs, and it's more than appropriate that the two soloists are the group's unsung heroes.

9. "What I Did For Love" by Rachel
It's no secret I love me a dramatic Rachel duet. So fucking holler from left to right with "What I Did For Love", originally from the musical A Chorus Line.

8. "Friday" by Artie, Sam, and Puck
Leave it to Glee to take one of the worst songs that has ever been written and turn it into something great. Rebecca Black who?

7. "Forget You" by Holly
I'm usually not one for censored songs or Gwyneth Paltrow, but for whatever reason, both worked here. Substitute teacher Holly Holiday (Paltrow) shows the kids that glee club should be fun with her family-friendly rendition of Cee Lo Green's "Fuck You".

6. "Thriller/Heads Will Roll" by the New Directions
I think everybody on the planet cringed when they heard Glee would be tackling Michael Jackson's biggest hit. They threw up upon learning that it would be mashed-up with a relatively unknown song by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. But never underestimate the New Directions, because they proved nay-sayers wrong in one of their best performances of the season.

5. "Take Me or Leave Me" by Rachel and Mercedes
Mm, holler. If you know anything about me or this blog, you know that diva-offs are like CRACK. So when Rachel and Mercedes decided to settle their rivalry by singing Rent's "Take Me or Leave Me", the result was pure ecstacy.

4. "I Feel Pretty/Unpretty" by Rachel and Quinn
Quinn went the entire second season without a single solo. The closest she came was a duet with Rachel, but it was sure worth it. When Rachel contemplates getting a nose job, she asks Quinn to be model for her ideal look. And then they sang a sweet West Side Story/TLC mash-up that remains one of my favorites from the show overall.

3. "Toxic" by the New Directions
We all know I wasn't too receptive of either of Glee's tribute episodes to the great Britney Spears, but the one thing they didn't totally fuck up was their inventive arrangement of "Toxic". This is a must-hear if you're unfamiliar with it!

2. "Teenage Dream" by Blaine
There isn't a single thing about this that isn't FLAWLESS. I fucking love Blaine, I love Darren Criss, and I love Katy Perry, so this was orgasmic to me, and many others, I'm sure.

1. "Loser Like Me" by New Directions
The second season of Glee is so far the only one to feature original music. Most of these songs were either jokes ("Trouty Mouth") or throwaways ("Pretending"). But "Loser Like Me" does more than enough to prove how fun original songs can be. With themes of fighting for the underdog, this song is basically the anthem of the show and is super fun. It just had to be number one.

Musically, Glee was at its best in the second season, which made this list especially hard to compile; however, I'm fairly confident in my selections. Stay tuned for Season 3 some time down the line!

Throwback Thursday: Tommy Picks the Best of Glee, Season 1

The Glee cast back when the show wasn't a steaming pile of shit.

I haven't been shy about my flagging interest in Glee. Still, there are three things that keep me watching: (1) Darren Criss; (2) the plethora of bitchy characters; and (3) the music. I'll admit that they often perform songs too recent to be covered by anyone, and other times they just downright butcher classics. But this talented cast definitely has countless jams under its belt. I attempted to choose my favorite Glee songs of all time, but it just couldn't be done. So, here's the first installment: The Best of Glee, Season 1.
10. "I Say a Little Prayer" by Quinn
Everyone knows I have a soft spot for Quinn, so it's no wonder that her glee club debut landed her on this list. Though not the strongest singer of the bunch, Quinn never disappoints, as evidenced by her short but sweet rendition of "I Say a Little Prayer", complete with provocative dance moves and Santana and Brittany on back-up.

9. "Don't Stop Believing" by the New Directions
This is the anthem of life Glee. Performed in the pilot by the newly-formed New Directions, "Don't Stop Believing" is what launched the show into massive popularity, and held viewers over for the 4-month gap between the episode's original broadcast and the official start of the first season.

8. "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Rachel, Finn, Puck, and Jesse
Remember when Rachel, who was bottom of McKinley High's barrel, somehow managed to juggle three guys at once? Yeah, I barely do, either. But that love-rectangle culminated in this ridiculous but super fun rendition of "Total Eclipse of the Heart".

7. "Take a Bow" by Rachel
For whatever reason, Glee decided early on that it was gonna cover Rihanna. I stifled my vomit, because I knew that they would out-perform that talentless cunt, no problem. And leave it to the great Lea Michele to sing the shit out of "Take a Bow". (Side note: You may not remember this song because it was before Rihanna became unbearably and whorishly present.)

6. "Alone" by Will and April
I know I'm not the only one who totally tunes out when Will Schuester sings. It's not that I don't like him, or that he's not talented, because he has a great voice. It's just because I usually don't give a fuck about what's going on with his life. That all changed when Kristen Chenoweth brought her skills to Glee as the hilarious but uber-talented April Rhodes. When they sang "Alone" at a karaoke bar, I was hooked.

5. "Halo/Walking on Sunshine" by the New Direction girls
Anybody who watches Glee knows that when they do mash-ups, it becomes LIFE. One of the very first mash-ups was of Beyoncé's "Halo" and the classic "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves, performed by the girls in a gender dispute. I can't remember who won the competition, but my vote goes to the ladies for this performance!

4. "Somebody to Love" by the New Directions
Back when Glee had group performances on the regular, they covered Queen's "Somebody to Love". Not only is it one of the best songs from the first season, but it's one of my favorite Glee songs of all time.

3. "Over the Rainbow" by Will
Keeping in mind what I just said about Will a few songs ago, it's a miracle that two of his performances have made it on this list. His rendition of "Over the Rainbow" was just beautiful, and the perfect cap to the first season.

2. "Don't Rain on My Parade" by Rachel
It's no secret I'm a huge Lea Michele fan and that I love me some Rachel solos. I had to limit myself to only a handful on this list, but there was no way "Don't Rain on My Parade" wouldn't make the cut. The song captures Lea in all her glory, and it's what won the glee club sectionals in the first season. Holla!

1. "Like a Prayer" by the New Directions
In their very first tribute episode, Glee performed some of Madonna's biggest hits. The episode is definitely amongst the show's best, and they managed to take the so-called Queen of Pop's songs and make them better. This is especially true for their rendition of "Like a Prayer", a song I personally had to analyze to hell in a class on religion in pop culture. But that's another story.

With over 100 songs performed in the first season alone, picking the top ten was definitely a challenge. I know you totally agree with my choices. Stay tuned for the second and third seasons!

25 Days of Christmas #25: "O Holy Night" by Lea Michele

Merry Christmas, everyone! I've saved the best for last in our 25 Days of Christmas countdown. This is, hands down, my favorite rendition of my favorite holiday song. Listen to Lea Michele, who has the voice of an angel, perform "O Holy Night". (It's more like, "O Holy Shit she has a good voice," am I right?)

25 Days of Christmas #4: "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" by the Glee Gals

On the fourth day of Christmas, I bring to you the first traditional song in the countdown: "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen". The song is old as dirt and is totally boring. BUT NOT WHEN GLEE DOES IT. Like many things in life, the Christmas Carol is much better once Lea Michele and company get their hands on it!

Glee's Britney Spears Tribute: Britney 2.0? More Like Britney 2.No Thank You!

It's Britney, bitch.

Britney Spears evokes many different connotations, from queen of pop to mentally unstable hasbeen and everything in between. But to me, the legendary Miss Britney Spears means only one thing: God. That is why I was so incredibly appalled by Glee's latest tribute episode to the pop star.

The episode, entitled "Britney 2.0", focuses on Brittany (Heather Morris) losing her way and subsequently attempting to make a comeback, much like her idol Britney Spears. The episode's plotline paralleled Britney's highly publicized breakdown and included jabs at the infamous head-shaving incident and disastrous 2007 MTV Video Music Awards performance, among other gems from Britney's colorful past in the limelight. They made a complete mockery of her, taking cheap and easy shots at the lowest point in her life all the while failing to express the fragility, confusion, and vulnerability the singer was experiencing at the time.

As if that wasn't enough, the episode featured eight of Britney's hits, and only three of them were done well. Morris completely butchered "Gimme More" and "Hold It Against Me" by trying to replicate Britney's sound rather than make the songs her own. The result is one not unlike karaoke day at your local middle school. The acoustic rendition of "3" had potential until Tina (Jenna Ushkowitz) opened her mouth and decided not to hit a single note. She also tainted "Womanizer" with her vocals for absolutely no apparent reason other than to piss off anyone with ears. Show of hands: who actually wanted to hear Tina sing? Yeah, I didn't think so. She can stay silent in the background where she belongs.

Perhaps the most heinous performance was "Everytime", my personal Britney favorite. The song was performed by newbie Marly Rose (Melissa Benoist), who sings the lamenting ballad after ending a relationship with another new character that literally lasted half an episode. Why, please, was my favorite song wasted on a plotline about two characters I don't give a flying fuck about? What's worse is Benoist has absolutely no talent or conviction and is totally boring to watch and listen to. As far as I'm concerned, that Lea Michele wannabe bitch can sway in the background with Tina.

Luckily, the episode was somewhat redeemed with its covers of "Boys" and "(You Drive Me) Crazy", which were mashed up to unexpectedly great results with Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend" and Aerosmith's "Crazy", respectively. But the best performance, hands down, was the slinky rendition of "Oops! I Did It Again", performed by the always enjoyable Lea Michele, whom I commend for reminding everyone that you don't have to be pretty to be sexy! As a matter of fact, I've been listening to that shit on repeat while writing this. Watch the performance below and judge for yourself. If you didn't enjoy it, you didn't watch it right.

Maybe I'm being a little harsh, but Glee's egregious tribute to Britney wouldn't have been so problematic had it been the first tribute episode to Britney the show completely fucked up. Back in 2010, there was an episode entitled "Britney/Brittany", which was all about the Brittany character seeking inspiration from Britney. This episode benefited from Britney's involvement, who made various cameos hollering all over the screen and whatnot, and basically kissed her ass, which I appreciated. However, when they only performed five songs from Britney's extensive catalog (including "Me Against the Music" ... WTF?!) and decided to end the episode with Paramore's "Only Exception", I flipped a bitch. Who the FUCK wants to hear a Paramore song in a Britney-themed episode? Who the fuck wants to hear a Paramore song, period? "Not I," said basically everyone who saw the episode.

At the end of the day, Glee has really fallen by the wayside and is only a pale version of witty, charming beast it once was. Now, the franchise is overexposed and its audience is shrinking. The show can't afford to rip on people like Britney, especially not twice. Obviously, this is a sensitive topic for me, but I think my thoughts can be summed up best by Britney Spears herself.

Bravo! Couldn't have said it better myself.